Here is a transcript of my interview with "Santa" over MSN Messenger. I have some serious doubts it is really him.
Larry says:
are you really santa claus?
Santa Claus says:
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, Larry! I'm Santa Claus!
Tell me, are you a boy or a girl?
Larry says:
why do you want to know?
Santa Claus says:
Ho ho ho! Am I talking to a boy or girl?
Larry says:
why?
Santa Claus says:
Sorry - Santa really needs to know if you're a boy or a girl.
Larry says:
is it because if it's a girl you'll talk down to them?
Santa Claus says:
And what do you want for Christmas, Larry?
Larry says:
i want to know if you're really santa
Santa Claus says:
Great, Larry! I'll see what I can do.
And what else would you like?
Larry says:
i would like you to answer my question
Santa Claus says:
My elves will get right on that.
Larry says:
speaking of your elves, how many do you have working for you?
Santa Claus says:
What was that?
Larry says:
how many elves do you have working for you?
Santa Claus says:
There are too many elves to count!
Larry says:
are these elves unionized?
Santa Claus says:
Hmm...
Larry says:
that isn't an answer santa, if that is your real name
Santa Claus says:
Hey! That's my name! I won't call you that.
Larry says:
so answer my question, are the elves unionized?
Santa Claus says:
What was that?
Larry says:
i don't understand why you keep ducking the question
Santa Claus says:
Interesting!
Larry says:
yes it is santa...
Santa Claus says:
Are you sure it is?
Larry says:
are you at least paying the elves a living wage?
Santa Claus says:
Hmm... I don't know, Larry, what do you think?
Larry says:
i think if you were you wouldn't be avoiding my question
Santa Claus says:
What do you think, Larry?
Larry says:
i just told you
Santa Claus says:
Whatever.
Larry says:
what about comprehensive healthcare?
Santa Claus says:
What was that?
Larry says:
are you providing the elves comprehensive health care?
Santa Claus says:
Hmm... I don't know, Larry, what do you think?
Larry says:
it doesn't matter what i think
Santa Claus says:
Interesting!
Larry says:
so are you saying you aren't paying the elves a living wage and denying them healthcare?
Santa Claus says:
What do you think about that, Larry?
Larry says:
i think that's just wrong
Santa Claus says:
Ho ho ho! What?
Larry says:
oh, you know what
Santa Claus says:
What?
Larry says:
i'm beginning to think you aren't really santa
Santa Claus says:
Yes, that's my name!
Larry says:
if you are really santa, then what did you get me last year?
Santa Claus says:
What do you think, Larry?
Larry says:
that doesn't answer the question
Santa Claus says:
Ho ho ho?
Larry says:
saying ho ho ho over and over again isn't going to convince me you're santa
Santa Claus says:
That is entirely unnecessary.
Larry says:
who is kris kringle?
Santa Claus says:
My name is Santa Claus.
Larry says:
have you ever been known under the name of kris kringle?
Santa Claus says:
Yes!
Larry says:
really?
Santa Claus says:
Yes, really.
Larry says:
where do they call you that?
Santa Claus says:
Santa Claus! HO HO HO!
Larry says:
um, that isn't a location
Santa Claus says:
Hmm...
Larry says:
have you been drinking?
Santa Claus says:
I assure you I'm quite sober.
Larry says:
let me talk to mrs claus
Santa Claus says:
Ho ho ho!
Larry says:
please let me talk to mrs claus
Santa Claus says:
Really?
Larry says:
yes
Santa Claus says:
Yup.
Larry says:
you've avoided all my questions so this interview is over
Santa Claus says:
Ho ho ho?
Larry says:
are you calling me a ho?
Santa Claus says:
That's quite unnecessary.
Larry says:
i will be sending osha to check in on your elves
Santa Claus says:
Great, Larry! I'll see what I can do.
Larry says:
please see that you do
Santa Claus says:
Take care, Larry.
Larry says:
bye santa...if that's really who you are...
Santa Claus says:
See ya later Larry. Good talking to you.
